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It’s that time of year again, come Monday I’ll be poring over the AFL prospectus and tinkering on the adding machine – dream team is finally open. I spend plenty of time playing the game every season, and have done reasonably well in the past with a couple of top 1000s my best efforts.

I’m no pro though, I’ve never come close to winning the comp and can never get the perfect mix of players every dream teamer would like. It’s only due to my relative success compared to my fellow footyhighers that Sarge has dubbed me the DT expert. Every year I spank the two of them and they don’t show a glimpse of improvement. It’s like taking candy from fish in a barrel. I’m embarrassed for them – seeing the same rookie mistakes year in, year out.

So it’s with perennial cellar-dwellers Sarge and Beno in mind that I’ve put together my DT Dos and Don’ts. These tips won’t make you win the comp (that takes a lot of planning and a lot of luck), but they should help lift you 1300 average, and hopefully the boys read it and take my advice, so our league is a little competitive for once.

DO a bit of research. Read up about what’s been going on in the preseason. Find out who looks ready for a move into the midfield, which mature-bodied recruit is in line for a round 1 gig or who’s had injury interrupt their pre-season. This way you’ll avoid picking Leo Barry for Rd 1 when he’s got a three month knee injury. (Right, Beno?)

DON’T load your team up with players from your club. I know it’s tempting because we all know the boys have been training the house down and everyone on the list is going to have the greatest season ever, but the law of averages dictates that 22 guys can’t get 30 possessions and kick six goals every week. (Geelong supporters are the exception to this rule)

DO pick players as forwards or backs if they are also listed as centres. The talent pool is a lot greater in the middle of the ground, so you can easily pick a bunch of stars there. Guns in the backs and forwards are harder to find, so take what you can get.

DON’T put rookies who won’t play on the bench. It seems like a clever way to save money, but you need to be using your bench players as cover for injuries, and a tool for making money. Spend the extra benjamins on a cheapie who’s going to get games, and when his price booms upgrade to a gun, or trade down to another cheapie to make room for an upgrade elsewhere.

DO trade sparingly. Round 1 with twenty trades in the bank it feels like they’ll never run out, but come round 18 with none left and you’re looking at starting 4 goose eggs in the team, you’ll be wishing you’d taken it easy. Plan ahead. Only trade for long term injury, or if it adds real value to your side (monetary or points).

DON’T trade sideways. Meaning don’t trade out a player for one of similar value. If your guy’s averaging a bit less than expected, you just have to hope their form turns around. Refer to the previous rule – trades are too valuable to be wasting on an upgrade of 5-10 points per game.

DON’T ever, under any circumstances trade before the teams are announced on Thursday. It’s pretty simple. During the week players can get injured and guys get dropped. Have a bit of patience and make sure the guy you’re bringing in will be out on the field come the weekend.

Some pretty basic tips there that the most accomplished dream teamers wouldn’t argue. Having said that, anyone who plans to join my league can ignore all this, you may as well not bother, because I will dominate you!